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Dealing With the Death of a Loved One

Medha Godbole
Dealing with death is difficult enough, but if it is a loved one, it is even more torturous. It is an utterly impossible task to console someone who has encountered such a tragic loss. Still, if this story helps you in it, god forbid, it would be a great consolation.
I know not what to say
When you were there,
The days were so happy and gay
Now, in a flash, you are gone
Taking all my happiness away
Well, these are not just some lines formed by stringing together a couple of words. They aptly, though inadequately, express the emotional trauma faced by an individual while coping with the death of a beloved person. Words, to say the least, fall short of any consolation and comfort for a person in such a difficult situation.
Nevertheless, I am going to attempt and bring some solace to frayed hearts through this article. Dealing with the death of a loved one and accepting such a huge loss requires a lot of mental strength. The text below would (hopefully) help you in such trying times.


Acceptance is a tough ask. For opening up your heart to express what you feel about the loss, it is necessary that you first accept and digest the fact that he or she is no more. It is natural for the relatives or people extremely close to them to go into denial. But, you cannot live in an illusive world and life is unfair as it is.
You have to come to terms with the truth. That does not mean you rush into forcing yourself to take it in. It will take time to sink in, may be a few days, months, or even years. It has to, eventually, because life has to go on.

Venting Out

Speak out about that person and how you are feeling about his or her death as much as you want. This will further help you get a grip on the truth. Cry, let out your emotions. Crying acts like a pressure system for your heart. The load of emotions sometimes gets a bit too much. Crying out gives you some much-needed relief in such a situation. The point is to express and vent your bottled feelings to family members and friends when dealing with grief after death.

Give it Some Time

Coping with grief over the loss of a loved one is not an overnight solution. Obviously it will take time for you to get out of the emotional setback. Never mind, let the things take their natural course. Time is the best healer, they say. Let some time go by. Be patient and help yourself come to terms with the fact that it is a long process and it will take time.

Duty Towards Yourself

You have to take care of yourself at least for the sake of others who care for you. Starving yourself, not eating adequately, or not taking proper rest is unfortunately not going to get that individual back (I know this is a bit harsh and easier said than done, but still you have to try). Therefore, taking proper rest, eating, and doing everything as before will perhaps make things easier for you. This will be for your own good ultimately.

Distraction Works

I know when you are dealing with the death of a loved one, everything seems to have come to naught. Even then, brace yourself and get yourself involved in things which will divert your mind from the thoughts of the grievous mishap. This will prove effective at least for some time. Forgetting totally about that person will be almost next to impossible.

Get in Touch with Others Who Have Had a Similar Experience

Try and reach out to others with similar experience and exchange ideas and share the grief. If you get the feeling 'WHY ME', then this might be a good activity to help you get over it. You will get to know that there are people like you, who are pained, aggrieved, shocked, and traumatized.
Be open to putting across your emotions and listening to what they have to say and vice-versa. This way you would have helped the others in dealing with a death. You could also find some solace in spirituality if you are inclined towards it.
Finally, hold on to the fond memories of that person. Through these memories, they will always be with you. Have faith that he or she is definitely there somewhere and is a happy soul.